Gordon Lightfoot, Too Much To Lose
Well, I forgot to do my public discourse homework, but he hasn't collected it yet and I could follow the class just fine, so I suppose it went ok. Urgh. Yay me.
Lunch. Yee hah. After lunch I went home just long enough to grab some stuff and then came back. Wented to philosophy. Fell asleep a few times. Yay me. Probably made a fool out of myself, too. Then I went to choir, already feeling miserable about Ian, and had to stand next to Jessica for an hour and a half. That would have been bad enough, but then she mentioned Sean, and that somehow made my brain get even worse.
By the end of choir, I really fucking needed to get out of there. I was going to go for a drive to clear my head, but Jesse talked me into driving him over to his house to get his Game Boy. He just got Pokemon Yellow and wanted to play it. Whatever. I figured that Jesse wouldn't be too much of a distraction to have along, and it would give me a destination anyway. Then Jessica decided to come along. Shit. Words cannot express to what degree that didn't help. So I drove them over to Jesse's house and back, and I actually did feel a little better. Singing along with Leslie Fish music is a great coping mechanism.
Then Jessica wanted to borrow my car to "go for a drive to clear her head". I didn't want to loan it to her at all, but she was very persistant and I finally gave in. She said she'd be gone "about an hour". Two hours later, I was still waiting for her in the lounge. (I wanted my keys back before I went down to the lab to do CS, and anyway I needed to take another drive to clear my own head before I'd be in any mood to work on it. ) Finally. I called Ian. I so very much did not want to deal with him today. I hate it when I have to call him to track down Jessica, it's very painful for me. Anyway, I called and inquired after my car. Yes, indeed, her "drive to clear her head" lead her straight to Ian's. Grr. I odn't know about to the general population, but in my mind there's a big difference between "Can I borrow your car because I'm upset and want to drive around to clear my head?" and "can I borrow your car to go see my boyfriend, who you used to date?". Anyway.
Then I actually went down to the lounge in a fairly angry state (which I'm never in. It's probably the first time any of them had ever seen me angry. It was mild compared to how I used to get, at one point in my life I had a tendancy to throw furniture, but I was still mad.)and complained to the Lounge Denizens. Then I ran off to go talk to Jeff.
I was a lot calmer by the time I got to his room. (He lives way across the campus.) I'd just stormed across the campus and up several flights of stairs, singing Gordon Lightfoot songs all the while. We talked for a very long time, and I feel a bit better now. I still don't feel up to doing CS though. I guess I'll try to do it tomorrow before I go see my prof. Shit. I know it's a bad plan, but I haven't a better one at the moment.
I want out of here. I want out of all of this. I just want out.
Captain Squanky signing off